谷爱凌为什么皈依佛教？

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最近，有位网友因不自信饱受困扰，给我们的好朋友谷爱凌同学私信求助：

How do you trust yourself and just “go for it”? I always 2nd guess myself & play not to lose.

你如何相信自己并“尽力争取”?我总是反复纠结犹豫，并告诉自己不要输就行了。

谷爱凌回复：

I recently converted to Buddhism because ideas ab separating yourself from the ego rly spoke to me. I'm working on letting go of a sense of self/ reputation/ external influence in order to focus fully on doing the thing, rather than fear of failure.

我最近皈依了佛教，因为把精神从自我中分离出来的思想对我起了作用。我正在努力摆脱自我/声誉/外部影响，以便完全专注于做事，而不是害怕失败。

不得不说，谷爱凌在参加女性体育峰会、Met Gala慈善舞会，为LV走秀的同时，还有时间上网为受困扰的网友答疑解惑，妥妥的时间管理达人了。

谷同学回复中用到的“convert to”有“改信，皈依（另一宗教）”的意思，这里她提到 “convert to Buddhism”，媒体解读为“皈依佛教”。

这种解读感觉有点太正式了，谷爱凌应该只是在了解佛教，学习佛教中的一些禅意，并不像大众想象中那样“走进甘露寺，每天吃斋念佛”。

况且，我佛不度本科以下（开玩笑）。

小谷同学之所以想“I'm working on letting go of a sense of self/ reputation/ external influence in order to focus fully on doing the thing”，是有原因的。

前段时间，她发了一条“谢谢中国”的微博后，乘私人飞机飞往美国，遭到大量网暴。

有许多不明所以的网友攻击她“捞完钱就跑”，言辞激烈，让人不适。

谷爱凌很快删掉了私人飞机的那条状态，没有做任何回复。

后来人们才发现，她到美国出席女性体育峰会，飞机是活动方提供的包机。

虽然谷爱凌从小生活在物质优渥的家庭，也受到了良好的教育，但层出不穷的无脑批判对只有18岁的她来说同样难以承受。

她无法一一回应这些负面言论，只能听之任之，然后自己想办法找回内心的平静，她只有18岁，还在努力学习如何摆脱自我、声誉、外部影响，专注做事。

通过佛教摆脱外界困扰，专注做事，是谷爱凌获得自信的方式，那么我们如何获得自信呢？

不够自信，看起来好像不是大问题，但实际会影响我们一生。

不自信的人不敢主动问老师和同学问题，只靠自己琢磨，结果从学期开始到学期结束都没弄懂；

不自信的人不敢主动交朋友，看到同学三五成群十分羡慕，却不敢打声招呼；

不自信还会影响我们的成绩，明明掌握的知识点，到了考场上因担心而焦虑，结果真的没有发挥好......

如何建立自信？你只需要做到下面这几点：

Get Things Done

Confidence is built on accomplishment. If you achieve small and big goals, you're going to feel much better about yourself. It begins with your day-to-day goals, what do you need to accomplish today, and every day this week or three days this week to help meet your goal? If you accomplish the goals you set for every day, chances are you will begin meeting weekly and monthly goals, which brings you in range of your bi-annual and annual goals. Keep in mind that progress is incremental, and big changes do not happen overnight. You're going to feel like you can take a big project, and set an ambitious goal because you believe you can meet it.

做好每件小事

自信建立在成就的基础上。如果你实现了大大小小的目标，你会感觉更好。要从设定日常目标开始，今天需要完成什么，是否用本周的每一天或本周的三天用来实现这个目标？如果你完成了每天设定的目标，就可能会实现每周和每月的目标，这让你能执行两年和一年的长远目标。请记住，进步是渐进的，巨大的改变不会在一夜之间发生。你想完成一件大事，那就设定一个雄心勃勃的目标，因为你相信自己能实现它。

Monitor Your Progress

The best way to reach your goals, big or small, is break them into smaller goals and to monitor your progress. Whether you're trying to get promoted, get a better job, get into graduate school, change careers, eat healthier or lose 10 pounds, the best way to know if you're making progress is to monitor it. Try to quantify your accomplishments: the number of applications you're submitting to jobs or graduate schools, what you're eating and how much you're exercising, write down whatever your goal may be. It will help you stay on course, and you will build confidence as you see the progress you're making in real time.

监控自己的进度

实现目标的最佳方式，不管大小，都是把它们分解成更小的目标，并监控你的进展。无论你是想升职、找一份更好的工作、进入研究生院、换职业、吃得更健康还是减掉10磅，知道自己是否有进步的最佳方式就是监控这个过程。试着量化你的成绩：你向企业或研究生导师提交的申请数量、你吃了什么、锻炼了多少，写下你的做到的事情。这将有助于帮你坚持下去，当你看到自己此时取得的进步时，你会获得信心。

Exercise

Besides benefitting your health in general, exercising helps memory retention, improves focus, helps manage stress and prevents depression. It's harder to be anxious when there is no excess energy to draw upon, and outside of being difficult uncomfortable at times, exercise improves every aspect of your life. So stay active, and create time to take of yourself.

运动

除了总体上有益于你的健康之外，运动还有助于保持记忆、提高注意力、帮助管理压力和预防抑郁。当没有多余的能量可以利用时，很难有精力去焦虑，除了有时不舒服之外，运动可以改善你生活的各个方面。所以保持活跃，调整时间来放松自己。

Be Fearless

Failing isn't your enemy, it's fearing failure that truly cripples you. If you set big goals and have big dreams, you're going to feel overwhelmed, and you're inevitably going to feel like you can't do it. In those moments you have to look inside yourself, and gather every ounce of courage you have and just keep going. Every single wildly successful person has been afraid, and they've kept working and taking risks anyway, because what they are trying to accomplish is more important and urgent than their fear they will fail. Think about how much you want to achieve your goal, then put your fear to the side, and keep going, one day at a time.

无所畏惧

失败不是你的敌人，真正让你脆弱的是对失败的恐惧。如果你设定了远大的目标和梦想，你会感到不知所措，你不可避免地会觉得自己做不到。这时候，你必须审视自己，鼓起勇气，继续前进。每一个获得巨大成功的人都害怕过，无论如何，他们都在继续前进和冒险，因为他们试图完成的事情比害怕失败更重要、更紧迫。想想你有多想实现你的目标，然后把恐惧放在一边，继续前进，每天一次。

Stand-up For Yourself

When your goal, project, etc. is in its early stages, and someone says that your goal is stupid, or that you can not do it, it's tempting to believe them because they're joining the chorus of doubts inside your head. Logically you think, "How can I be right when this person and all these doubts in my head are telling me I can't do this? That this idea is stupid." And you have to tell those people, especially the voices in your head, that they're wrong. You have it in you, so tell them you believe in your goal, you believe in yourself, so you're going to accomplish it. There's a great line in 10 Things I Hate About You, when Joseph Gordon-Levitt is about to give up his pursuit of Larisa Oleynik, and Heath Ledger gives him a pep talk, ending it with,"Don't let anyone, ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want."

为自己挺身而出

当你的目标、事业等处于早期阶段，有人会说你的梦想很愚蠢，或者你做不到，你很容易相信他们，因为他们在你脑海中加入了怀疑的背景音。逻辑上，你会想，这个人和我脑海中的声音告诉我我做不到的时候，我怎么可能是对的？这个想法很愚蠢。”你必须告诉那些人，尤其是你脑海中的声音，他们是错误的。怀揣这个想法，告诉他们你相信能实现目标，你相信自己，你会实现它。《我讨厌你的10件事》中有一句很棒的话，当约瑟夫·戈登-莱维特即将放弃追求拉里莎·奥莱尼克时，希斯·莱杰给了他一次鼓舞人心的谈话，最后说，“不要让任何人，让你觉得你不配得到你想要的。”

Follow Through

People respect people when they say they're going to do something and they do it. More importantly, you will respect yourself if you say you're going to do something and you do it, and belief in yourself will come easier, because you know you are not afraid of the work. Action gives your words meaning, and it will help you pave a path to accomplishing your goals, strengthening your relationships and feeling proud of who you are.

贯彻到底

人们会尊重说到做到的人。更重要的是，如果你说到做到，你会获得对自我的尊重，更容易获得自信，因为你知道你不怕努力。行动让你所说的话有意义，将帮助你为实现目标铺平道路，加强你的人际关系，并为自己感到自豪。

The foundation of unhappiness is decisions made for short-term comfort that impede long-term goals: if you're trying to save money, you can't go out to eat as much, if you're studying for the GMAT or LSATs you can't go out with friends as often, if you're trying to lose weight, you can not eat french fries often, etc. Big goals require big sacrifices, you have to dig deep and really discipline yourself. In the moment it is tedious and frustrating and makes life significantly harder, but it will pay off, and the pride you feel will be worth it. You have to decide if your short-term comfort is more important than your long-term goals, but know that long-term goals will bring you far more happiness in the long run than your short-term comfort.

长远考虑

人们不快乐的根源是，为了短期舒适而做出而放弃了长期目标：如果你想省钱，就不能出去大吃大喝多，如果你在为研究生管理科学入学考试或法学院入学考试学习，就不能常和朋友出去，如果你想减肥，就不能经常吃炸薯条，等等。远大的目标需要巨大的牺牲，你必须竭尽全力，真正自律。此时此刻，你做的事情是乏味和枯燥的，生活变得更加难熬，但这些都会有回报，短暂牺牲带来的骄傲是值得的。你必须决定短期快乐是否比你的长期目标更重要，但是你要知道，实现长期目标会比短期放纵带来更多的快乐。

Don't Care What Others Think

There are going to be so many people who will tell you you can not accomplish your goal. Whether is it rejection from employers, schools, or just negative feedback from friends or family, people will try to tell you your goal is too big, or that you're not ready, or that you can't do it, that it's never been done before, etc., and you absolutely can not listen to them. You must be resolute. While they tell you the odds are against you, etc., just remember most people are wrong about most things. People change the world every day, despite everyone around them telling them it can't be done. If you think you can do it, you can it. Don't listen to them, believe in yourself and keep going.

不要在意别人怎么想

会有很多人告诉你你无法实现目标。无论是雇主、学校的拒绝信，还是朋友或家人的负面反馈，人们都会试图告诉你你的目标太大了，或者你还没有准备好，或者你做不到，以前从未做过，等等。绝对不能听他们的。你必须坚决。当他们告诉你情况对你不利时等消息时，只要记住大多数人在大多数事情上都错了。人们每天都在改变世界，尽管周围的人都告诉他们这是不可能的。如果你认为你能做到，你就能做到。不要听他们的，相信自己，继续前进。

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