文笔好不好，只读一小段：通俗小说这么写会成为爆款

加拿大安大略省笔译口译协会（atio）认证翻译、加拿大认证esl老师、留学申请顾问。

承接驾照、结婚证、房产证、出生证、疫苗证、护照、银行流水、资产证明、聘用信、推荐信、营业执照等翻译。速度快、信达雅、收费合理。不满意原银退还。

加拿大英文教练（原温哥华英文教练），致力于地道英文表达

去年，一部热播的英剧《慢马》（又译作《流人》）很抓住了我的眼球。这部剧的英文名是Slow Horse，来历是英情五局的一个边缘机构。话说情报机关内部难免有些犯过各种各样错误的人，随便将其扫地出门不大合适，毕竟这些人也掌握过一定的内幕。于是就设立了一个边缘机构去收留这些人，办公的地方叫Slough House， 这Slough House的谐音就是slow horse，非常贴切—这帮人之所以落到这个地方，不就是因为跑得慢被淘汰了嘛。这个组织的头名叫Lamb，可千万别被他的名字骗了，随着剧情的展开，我们会发现这根本不是只“待宰的羔羊“，而是一只披着羊皮的狼。另外一个男主名字更好笑，叫River，不过也别被他的名字片了，他才不是”至柔之水“，也是个厉害的特工，只是被自己的同僚挖了坑陷害，才落到今天的境地。这些慢马们在一起，这些臭皮匠在一起，却做出了令人称道的成绩。

这部剧上映后，很快成为爆款，而翻看原著，也同样的精彩。这里，我们挑选三个场景，看看作者Mick Herron的手笔。

场景一，我们选取一个Lamb和River的对话，看看这臭皮匠的头跟有刺的下属的dynamic:

River opened his mouth to ask, then closed it.

Lamb used the hand he wasn’t driving with to find a cigarette. “You think Hobden’s the only right-wing fruitcake in the country? Or he the only one you could think of at closing time?”

“He is the only one I know of who’s had two spooks sicced on (sic on 攻击) him in the past forty-eight hours.”

“So you’re spook（原意是鬼，这里指特工）. Congratulations. I thought you’d failed your assessment.”

“Fuck off, Lamb,” he said. “I was there. I saw her shot. You know what that’s like?”

Lamb turned to study him through half-open eyes, causing River to remember about the hippo being among the world’s most dangerous beasts. It was barrel-shaped and clumsy, but if you wanted to piss one off, do it from a helicopter. Not while sharing a car.（这段描写充分体现了英国人的dry wit，冷幽默也好，冷笑话也罢，让人忍俊不禁。Lamb身材肥胖，因此被形容成barrel，hippo。二人在车里相互挖苦，River最终认识到，像一头河马的老板其实非常危险，即使要向他发火，最好在直升机上从他发。这里的piss off 实际是双关语，可以是撒尿，也可以是发火。从直升机向河马撒尿显然更有画面感）

“You didn’t just see it,” he said. “It was down to you. However clever was that?”

“You think I let it happen deliberately?”

“I think you weren’t good enough to stop it. And if you’re not good enough for that, you’re no use to anyone.” Lamb changed the gear like it was a violent assault. “If it wasn’t for you, she’d have been tucked up in bed. Hers or somebody else’s. And don’t think I haven’t noticed the looks you’ve been giving her.” The car growled onwards.（Lamb从来不是个正面激励下属的老板，而是一个从反向刺激下属的老板，所以他经常骂他们，怎么难听怎么骂，但他又确实精明能干，而且关键时候总是要护崽的。他曾经对自己的上司这么说：他们是群慢马，可也是老子的慢马）

你看他的对白，从不是长篇大论，但每个字都是干货，并且把对话中所带的力量融合进外部场景中了，比如Lamb的一通训斥之后，The car growled onwards.

场景二，我们选了一段Lamb的同僚，也是他的办公室政治对头，一位精明强悍，手段毒辣的女性Diana。这一段是她走下电梯，进办公室的场景。这里没有对话，几乎都是她的内心独白。作者有种神奇的力量，把人物的内心独白与外部环境融合在一起，让人不知不觉也融入了那个场景中，分不清外部的世界是真实的世界，还是人物感知的世界的投射。

The elevator ran slowly, and this was deliberate. A long slow descent had a weakening effect on anyone here involuntarily, inducing in those who were conscious a nervous, vulnerable state. （电梯的缓缓下降，是我们都有过的经历，这里，作者将一般人坐电梯，尤其是向下的电梯的感受点了出来，形成一种共鸣；然后与Diana的心理做对比，一天只睡四个小时的她，才不是那种电梯下降心里就发虚的普通人）Diana Taverner passed the while checking her reflection. For a woman who’d had less than four hours’ sleep in the past thirty, she thought she looked pretty good. But then, she thrived on the dangerous edge. Even when life was on a smoother track, she took corners on two wheels: office/gym/office/wine bar/office/home was a typical day, and sleep was never high on her agenda. Sleep was ceding control. While you sleep, anything might happen.（上面两句话极短，但极有冲击力，尤其是“睡觉就等于让出了控制权，一旦你睡着了，什么都可能发生“，一个狠角色的心里跃然纸上）

But this had been run under Moscow rules, like a deep-cover op on foreign ground. As far as Black’s record showed, he’d quit the Service last year, and Taverner had had only one face-to-face with him since he’d gone under. The Voice of Albion was a below-the -radar bunch of Toytown fascists, consisting, until Black had stirred them up, of one man and his dog. None of the op details—the safe-house address, Black’s co-conspirators, the vehicles they’d used—existed anywhere on paper or, God forbid, the ether. And yesterday’s report to Limitations had kept the details scanty; a “watching brief” fell far short of surveillance, and Taverner couldn’t be blamed if Albion had slipped the leash…It was patchy, but Taverner had sealed leakier ops. One watertight report was worth any amount of tradecraft.（这一段是她回忆自己的老板跟她的互动，以及她正在上演的一出“捉放曹“的阴谋。精于算计、深谙组织生存之道的她非常善于用one watertight report 去做”刀笔吏“）

场景三所描绘的是另一个女性，Lamb的秘书Catherine，她也曾伺候过Lamb的前任，在同事眼中，她就是个不起眼，人畜无害的秘书大妈。而且，她还是个嗜酒者，去戒酒中心是她的家常便饭。而恰恰就是这个角色，在慢马们后来的行动中起过关键作用。这一段跟上面描绘Diana的那段，相似的地方在于都有心理描写，但Diana那段有“外部投射“的成分，而Catherine这段，几乎全是人物的动作和内心独白的交织，尤其要注意其中三次出现、用斜体的My name is Catherine and I’m an alcoholic。最有意思的是，当Catherine感觉有人在自己的门上搞事情的时候，作者写道，她的第一反应不是去抓电话（报警），而是去抓 “武器 ”，但自己仅有的武器，却是一只酒瓶，这种反讽与人物的经历融为一体。

She pulled on the dress she’d laid out for the morning. Tied her hair back, and checked her reflection. My name is Catherine and I’m an alcoholic. It was rare that she could look at herself without those words uncurling in her mind. My name is Catherine and I’m an alcoholic. For a long while she’d thought herself a coward. It had taken some time to understand that becoming dry involved bravery, not the least part of which was making that assertion in public. Reaching for a weapon rather than a phone was that same bravery making itself felt. It had taken great effort to rebuild her life, after so many props had been taken away, and if most days it didn’t feel like much of a life, it was the only one she had, and she wouldn’t surrender it without a fight. The fact that the only weapon in reach had been a bottle could be labelled one of life’s little ironies.

My name is Catherine and I’m an alcoholic. There was this to say for the AA mantra: you were in no immediate danger of forgetting who or what you were.

谁说通俗作品就不讲究写作的技巧？上面三个场景已经达到写作教科书的级别。慢慢品呐！