巴黎雷欧《情绪管理十二讲》（第2版）-第九讲 治愈厌倦，参与周围的环境

《情绪管理十二讲》（第二版）

注：华文由法文翻译而来

《情绪管理十二讲》巴黎雷欧（YouZHi Ren）著

原书名：Paris gold Key（巴黎金钥匙）

Léo Paris 巴黎雷欧 著

内容简介

这是一本从非常别致的角度解析情绪管理的著作，是从作者的系列心理学讲座中挑选出来的。巴黎雷欧（李由、任由之）的系列心理学讲座，在法国、美国青年中颇受欢迎，特试译为中文版本。

巴黎雷欧著有《简明国际商务》（欧盟版）《法国现代书画艺术评论》（英文版3卷）和《雷欧带你认识法国》《雷欧带你认识巴黎》等书籍。

由于巴黎雷欧现系巴黎远东文化艺术协会负责人，巴黎雷欧艺术馆及版权交易机构负责人，工作繁忙，此译本尚未得巴黎雷欧先生审阅，特此说明。

第九讲治愈厌倦，参与周围的环境

同一个星期一早晨，同样的巴黎通勤列车，我周围的人们的脸上同样沉闷乏味。尽管如此，对我的机器人周来说，这还是个良好的开端。到了我的办公室，迎接了我认识了六年的同事。一切都没有什么改变，老样子。下班后，像往常一样，经历了单调乏味的一天，我终于回家了。这是巴黎的一个小公寓，我把它打扫干净并清理出半个房间。这是一个近乎完美的循环。白天的工作报酬不高，但很熟悉，公寓几乎没有得到照管。

我们所知道的大众文化，流行文化，称之为日常生活，人们总是渴望从中逃离。然而，在内心深处，你知道这是一种逃避。即便去印度实现一年的背包旅行也无济于事。返回后，你拿着你的袋子去爬珠穆朗玛峰也不会改变这一切。更重要的是，如果运气不是你的好友，你可能会死在那里。那么，解决方案是什么呢？我们是否应该接受数千年来一直行之有效的解决方案？经典的解决方案是：享用它，因为它就是生命的状态。我不了解你们，但我个人觉得这个选择根本没有吸引力。

所以，这是我的个人看法。首先，我认为例行公事未必是件坏事。一切都处于平衡的生活中。你可能想每天吃很多不同的东西。但是，如果你每天吃三顿饭，消耗掉你所有的时间，我不会责怪你。在这个世界上，大多数事物都有周期：四个季节，白天和黑夜，以及不断出现的新一代等。周期的存在，意味着存在不可避免的重复，也就是例行公事。如何应对这些不可避免的例行公事，将会对个人的白天和黑夜产生影响。

为什么我们倾向于在这些惯例中成为机器人，直到精神崩溃？让我们来检查一下基础知识。我们的头脑中有两种奇妙的东西：梦想和发现。这是我们积极参与的两项主要智力活动，旨在让我们保持精神上的活力。当这两种活动之间的平衡开始打破时，我们的例行公事会在我们的生活中悄然滑动。我们越像机器人一样，在日常生活中运动，我们的发现就越少。具有讽刺意味的是，我们的发现越少，就越有梦想。

到目前为止听起来还不错，但请听我继续分析。原因很简单，我们创造性地梦想的灵感，来自于我们在这个世界所做的发现。从技术上讲，在任何给定的时间和空间里，都有无限的东西，即使在你自己的后院。但是我们像机器人一样生活，使我们闭上了眼睛，不再对周围环境进行任何探索了。它关闭了我们心灵、思想和外部世界之间的桥梁。

因为大脑的思维被从发现中切除了，所以必须找到一种方法来占据自己。这就是为什么人们在没有适当的自我管理的情况下，常常被锁在日常生活的白日梦中。开始时看起来并不太糟糕。过了一段时间，当“白日梦”的所有内容变成一个没有出口的无限循环时，那就是精神窒息的地方。那是人们放弃一切以获得单程票的时刻，要么他们继续冥想在印度旅行，或者他们去泰国参加大型岛屿派对。你可以看到，没有一个是优良的解决方案，以防止再次发生烧毁理想的灾难。

现在，如果我们稍微回顾一下，我们是不是可以通过积极参与周围环境，即使只是我们的房间，也能防止情况的恶化。你对自己的房子有清晰的印象吗？有清晰的描述吗？你做过的所有安排都进行检查了吗？您是否意识到你可以尝试改进？我们不再关心家具、安排和整洁，因为我们专注于我们的心理和梦想，以至于忽略了我们周围的环境。不幸的是，作为一个人，我们的梦想在没有新鲜空气的情况下很快就会变老，然后我们就会感到厌烦。

开始关心你周围的事物，感受你与周围环境之间的联系。它会产生很大的不同。哦，是的，如果你选择在印度进行冥想旅行来学习如何更好地处理这个无聊的问题，他们会教给你同样的道理，相似的原则。主要的区别在于，在冥想静修的背景下，他们对这个概念有一个奇特的名字，叫做“在场”。

Cure to boredom, engage the environment around you

Same Monday morning, same Parisian commuter train, same dullness on the faces of travelers around me. It was nonetheless a good start for my robotic week. Arriving at my office, greeted the colleagues that I know for 6 years. Nothing has changed much, same old same old. After a dreary day as usual, I was finally approaching home. It was a tiny apartment in Paris that I cleaned and sorted out half-arsed at the best. This is a near perfect loop. The day time job is not rewarding but familiar, and the apartment is barely taken care of.

Popular culture that we know calls this routine and would preach ardently for people to escape from it. However, deep down, you know it is an escape. A gap year backpacking in India won’t help after your return. Take you bag the year after and go climb mountain Everest won’t change this neither. What’s more, you might die there if luck is not your buddy. So, what is the solution? Should we just embrace the solution that has worked kinda well since thousands of years? For your information, this classic solution is: suck it because it’s life. I don’t know about you guys but personally I don’t find this option any appealing at all.

So, here’s my take. For starters, I don’t think routine is necessarily a bad thing. All is in the degree in a well-balanced life. You may want to eat very different things every day. However, I don’t blame you if you take 3 meals a day till the end of your time. In this world, most things have cycles: four seasons, day and night, and the ever-appearing new generation, etc. The existence of cycles implies that there’re inevitable repetitions, aka routine. How we react to the fact of us being in these inevitable routines will make a difference of day and night.

Why we tend to be robots in those routines until mental break down? Let’s examine the basics. Our mind is capable of two wonderful things: to dream and to discover. These are the 2 main intellectual activities we all actively engage in to keep us mentally alive. The problem of routines that we know of slides quietly in our lives when the balance between these 2 activities start to break. The more we walk robotically in our routines, the less we keep our discovery eyes. Ironically, the more we go without discoveries, the more we dream. It sounds not that bad so far but trust me it is. The reason is straightforward, the inspirations that we need to dream creatively, lies in the discoveries we make from this world. Technically, there’re unlimited things to discover in any given time and space, even in your own backyard. Our robotic reaction to necessary routines keep our eyes shut for any further examination of our surroundings. It shuts the bridge between our mind and the outside world.

Since the brain is cut from discoveries, it has to find a way to occupy itself. That’s why people day dream when they are locked in a routine without proper self-management tool. It does not look too bad at the beginning. However, isolated from any outside inspirations, the dreams that our brain generates will eventually be repetitions. After some time, when all the contents of while “day dreaming” become an infinite loop without an exit, that’s where mental suffocation comes in. That’s the moment when people give up everything to get a one-way ticket, either they go on meditation trips in India , or they go for huge island parties in Thailand . You can see that none of them is an ideal solution to prevent the burn out from happening again in the future.

Now if we rewind the time a bit, we could prevent the situation from degrading this badly by actively engaging the environment around us, even if it is just our room. Do you have a clear mental picture of your house? Can you recall without checking all the arrangements you’ve done? Are you aware of any potential improvements you could try out? We stopped caring about furniture, arrangements and neatness because we got so absorbed in our mental dreams to the point that we ignore the place around us. Unfortunately, as one individual, our dreams tend to get old quickly without fresh air blowing in, and then we get bored.

Start to care about what’s around you, feel the connections between you and your surroundings. It’ll make a big difference. Oh yes, if you choose to go on meditation trips in India to learn how to cope with this boredom problem better, they’ll teach you the same principle. The major difference would be that, in the context of a meditation retreat, they have a fancy name for this concept called “be present”.

情绪管理十二讲LéoParis –巴黎雷欧 目录

（中文译本未经巴黎雷欧审阅）

第一讲轻松成功，有秘诀吗？

第二讲给你的“自律”放个假

第三讲决策，可能是伪装的逃避

第四讲成功的关键在于效率

第五讲毒性人格，为何不能正常诠释

第六讲情感脱节，一个危险的症状

第七讲情绪化，恰恰是因为缺乏感性

第八讲强烈感觉与自我意识

第九讲治愈厌倦，参与周围的环境

第十讲不要让你喜欢的东西杀死你

第十一讲社交障碍治疗——消除隔离

第十二讲乐趣和成功之间的差距

Paris gold Key巴黎金钥匙

Léo Paris

Catalog

Key to success with ease

Give your poor self-discipline a break

Decision-making, a highly disguised escape

Key to successwith efficiency

Toxic personality, why some people are impossible to reason with

Disconnected of one’s emotion, the real symptoms

One is extremely moody because he is NOT emotional

Open mindedness and self-awareness

Cure to boredom, engage the environment around you

DON’T find something that you love and let it kill you

Social accessibility, one major cure for social isolation

The gap between having fun and being successful

巴黎雷欧：GLC（Galerie Leo et Co）创始人，著有《国际谈判哲学》（法文版）《国际谈判实务》（华文版，多家考研机构参考书）《跨国公司内部谈判效益论析》（法文版）《法国现代书画艺术评论》（英文版3 卷）《远东文化艺术》（法文&华文）《情绪管理十二讲》（英文版&华文版）和《雷欧带你认识法国》（英文版）《雷欧带你认识巴黎》（英文版）等书籍（学习微：LeorenFR）。

巴黎雷欧投资研报03：（欧盟20万至50万欧元支持计划）

法国提供实用的研发投资税收减免：健康、制药、绿色科技、农业科技、数字科技等，特别是生物科技及可持续发展技术领域。

法国政府还设有特别基金支持外国投资者的创新和初创合作。法国政府通过简化行政程序和提供法律及财务咨询服务，吸引和支持外国投资者。